Many people come to me and say they cannot enjoy today because of something that happened in the past.
Because they did not do something or do it in a certain way in the past, they cannot live a full life today. Because they no longer have something they had in the past, they cannot enjoy today. Because they were hurt in the past, they will not accept love now. Because something unpleasant happened when they did something once, they are sure it will happen again today. Because they once did something that they are sorry for, they are sure they are bad people forever. Because once someone did something to them, it is now all the other person’s fault that their life is not where they want it to be. Because they became angry over a situation in the past, they will hold on to that self-righteousness. Because of some very old experience where they were treated badly, they will never forgive and forget.
Because I did not get invited to the High School Prom, I cannot enjoy life today.
Because I did poorly at my first audition, I will be terrified of auditions forever.
Because I am no longer married, I cannot live a full life today.
Because my first relationship ended, I can no longer be open to love.
Because I was hurt by a remark once, I will never trust anyone again.
Because I stole something once, I must punish myself forever.
Because I was poor as a child, I will never get anywhere.
What we often refuse to realize is that holding onto the past---no matter what it was or how awful it was, is ONLY HURTING US. “They" really don’t care. Usually “they” are not even aware. We are only hurting ourselves by refusing to live in this moment to the fullest.
The past is over and done and cannot be changed. This is the only moment we can experience. Even when we grudge about the past, we are experiencing our memory of it in this moment, and losing the real experience of this moment in the process.
(Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life 74, 75.)
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