Love. Spiritual Practice and Spiritual Experience

If you have ever had a "spiritual experience" you know that Love isn't just a sentiment that one person expresses to another, but rather, Love is the closest our language can get to expressing the True Nature of all Reality. Love is also the experience of what's left when we truly "let go" of all of our stories, judgements, and other mind made barriers that are covering it up. Love is also ever-present, which means there's no where or when that love is not, because love is always Now, and love is always Here. "I love you" means I see and know you as you are now, without a past, without a story, but just as you are, reproduced by Love itself, and therefore sharing both the image and likeness of this Divine and creative force that pervades the entire universe. Cultivating the awareness of this is done through spiritual practice. That's actually what spiritual practice is. It is any effort toward this EXPERIENCE of, or the awareness of Reality as it is. Of course Reality and Love is beyond both of the concepts, however they seem to be close to or at least as close as we can get to...read more.

What is Counseling?

This is a common question. I appreciate the way a colleague of mine, Greg McBride, answers this question. I tend to to approach counseling in a very similar way.

"I see counseling as the opportunity to deliberately challenge the information that doesn't work for you anymore. It is a chance to unlearn what you were taught and relearn what can work for you now.

Throughout our formative years, we pick up information about the interactions with and around us. It's really all we can do to try and learn how the world works through these interactions. Sometimes we assimilate techniques and thought patterns that will help us later in our life - how to communicate openly, how to trust and love, how to cope. Other times, we are left with mixed messages, unhealthy tendencies, or destructive ideals.

Be quiet! Don't talk!I'll give you an example. Let's say, as a child, you were taught that it was best to not talk. Talking made dad angry and it made mom tearful and overwhelmed. You learned that talking threatened the security of your family's status quo. Maybe you were told this specifically and maybe you learned it indirectly, but the message was the same: your words are to blame. If talking is named as the source of another person's anger or sadness or their drinking or absence, it does not take long for you to learn, "DON'T TALK." As much as this lesson may have worked to your benefit before, that same lesson may fail you now.

Counseling is a deliberate attempt to challenge the lessons that might have made sense to you when the situation required them. As situations in your life change, what worked well for you, what made sense to you, and what was potentially correct for you before might now be hurting you and your relationships. A counseling session is the place to assess, in a frame of curiosity and ownership, these unhelpful lessons and their context. This unique space, both physical and mental, can help you to examine possibilities for change and to explore new wisdom in an updated context.

An important component of the type of interpersonal relationship counseling that I offer is accountability. Throughout the process, no matter what feelings are uncovered, maintaining accountability for our own actions is both a key focus and a desired outcome. Each one of us has control only over what we say and do, not how others react to us; understanding this aspect of our social construction helps the counseling process to be an opportunity for assessment and ownership."

Adam R. Seward
www.adamsewardcounseling.net

Understanding the Teenage Brain

Adam Seward Counseling
www.adamsewardcounseling.net

So do you believe 2010 can your best year ever?

I invite you to take this opportunity, as we bring 2009 to a close, to stop for a moment and reflect on the "belief infrastructure" that will support your move into 2010. I want you to have a fantastic new year and to be able to move into the year with the energy, clarity and focus that 2010 can be one of your best years yet. This is a real possibility: unless you have a time machine, 2010 is the leading edge of evolution as we know it, which means you are probably the wisest that you have ever been in your life.

So let’s try an experiment. I’d like to invite you to engage in a little New Year’s practice to move you into 2010 with greater awareness, vision and focus...

1. Imagine the date is December 31, 2010. Write down in concrete detail what you want your life to look like on this date. This vision can include whatever life areas you feel are appropriate. For example, any or all of Body, Mind, Spirit, Shadow, Service, Work, Relationships, Sexuality, Parenting, Ethics, Activism, etc.

2.Now take a few minutes: sit by yourself and brainstorm a list of all the assumptions you’re making that either support or hinder your ability to achieve that vision. Don’t edit yet, just make a note of which assumptions will support you and which will hinder you.

3.Take a moment to re-read and acknowledge all of the supporting assumptions and beliefs that will support you next year. Just make a quick mental note of how each will support your vision.

4.Now choose up to 3 inhibiting assumptions you believe will most significantly hinder your vision. If you are a quarterback, then these three are like the defensive line trying to tackle your ass this coming year, and you’ve got to get your running back by them.

5.Now, for each assumption you’ve chosen, ask yourself the following:

What could I achieve if that assumption is wrong?

What story about myself or my capabilities does that assumption help perpetuate?

What would I do if I wanted to prove that assumption wrong?

When I give voice to that limiting assumption, what voice is speaking? (e.g., the voice of fear, the voice of the skeptic, the voice of the complacent father, the voice of the lonely child, the voice of the failed executive, etc?)

Is it worth it to me to see my assumptions as a story I’m telling myself?

Finish by sitting for a final 5 minutes with your eyes closed, breathing deeply. Notice your mind, emotions and the feeling in your chest as you let your limiting beliefs gradually loosen. Hopefully you feel a little lighter, a little more focused, a little more like the author of your own life this New Year.

The stories we tell ourselves create a very powerful reality that heavily influences what we’re capable of. Hard work, focus, skill, multiple perspectives, integral tools and dozens of other things all contribute to what we’re able to do in our lives. But at some basic level it all starts with what we tell ourselves we will do and then clearing the way mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically to go do it. And this starts with your story. So tell yourself a great one for 2010. Make it the best year ever. You deserve it, and I’m counting on all of you to help us continue the work that humanity needs you for.

Adam R. Seward
Individual, Couple, & Family Counsling
www.adamsewardcounseling.net



(Thank you to Rob Smith from Integral Life for providing this framework)

How Do You Begin Your Day?

What is the first thing you say in the morning when you wake up? We all have something we say almost every day. Is it positive or negative? Do you awaken with a groan and say, "Oh God, Another Day." If you do, do you ever notice that that is exactly the kind of day you have, one thing after another going wrong? Try this...when you wake up, even before opening your eyes,thank the bed for a good night's sleep. After all, you have spent the whole night together in comfort. Then with your eyes still closed, spend about ten minutes just being thankful for all the good in your life. Program your day a bit, affirming that everything will go well and that you will enjoy it all.

Then give yourself a few minutes to sit in quiet meditation. If you are new to meditation, begin with five minutes. Sit quietly, observe your breathing and allow the thoughts to pass gently through your mind. Give them no importance and they will pass on. It is the nature of the mind to think, so don't try to get rid of thoughts.

There are many classes and books you can explore to find ways to meditate. No matter how or where you begin, you will eventually create the method best for you. I usually just sit quietly and ask, "What is it that I need to know?" I allow the answer to come if it wants to, if not, I know it will come later. There is no right or wrong way to meditate.

Another form is to sit quietly and observe the breath as it goes in and out of your body. As you inhale count one, as you exhale count two. Continue counting until you get to 10, then begin again at one. If you notice your counting takes you to 25 or so, just go back to one.

This will help to center you so that you can bring your best self into the rest of your days activities. I've heard so many people tell me that just doing this one thing, every morning, completely changes and enhances the quality of their day, and ultimately their lives.

Adam R. Seward
Individual, Couple, and Family Counselor
www.adamsewardcounseling.net

Tangerine Meditation

If I offer you a freshly picked tangerine to enjoy, the degree to which you enjoy it will depend on your degree of mindfulness. If you are free of worries and anxiety, you will enjoy it more. If you are possessed by anger or fear, the tangerine may not be very real to you.
One day, I offered a number of children a basket filled with tangerines. The basket was passed around, and each child took one tangerine and put it in his or her palm. We each looked at our tangerine, and the children were invited to meditate on its origins. They saw not only their tangerine, but also its mother, the tangerine tree. With some guidance, they began to visualize the blossoms in the sunshine and in the rain. Then they saw petals falling down and the tiny green fruit appear. The sunshine and the rain continued, and the tiny tangerine grew. Now someone has picket it, and the tangerine is here. After seeing this, each child was invited to peel the tangerine slowly, noticing the mist and fragrance of the tangerine, and then bring it up to his or mouth and have a mindful bite, in full awareness of the texture and taste of the fruit and the juice coming out. We ate slowly like that.
Each time you look at a tangerine, you can see deeply into it. You can see everything in the universe in one tangerine. When you peel it and smell it, it’s wonderful. You can take your time eating a tangerine and be very happy. (Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step)

This is the essence of mindfulness. Being Present with whatever you are doing. Mindful walking is being deeply attuned to every step. Mindful eating is being acutely aware of the subtlety of every bite. Even if you’re day dreaming, being aware that you are day dreaming. Everything can be done mindfully, and with mindfulness comes a great sense of peace and relaxation. This months meetup will focus on this quality of mindfulness.

www.adamsewardcounseling.net

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. -Marianne Williamson

Adam R. Seward
Individual, Couple, and Group Counseling
www.adamsewardcounseling.net